Sunday, October 09, 2005

Our Mother Hates Us

With the earthquake in Pakistan this weekend I've concluded that The Earth Doesn't Like Us. Between the earthquake, Hurricane Katrina, and the tsunami last December we've had three horrific large-scale natural disasters in less than 12 months. I suppose that's what we get for abusing the planet, but I don't! I don't drive a car! I don't eat! I cut up the little six-pack plastic rings that pop cans come in! It all reminds me of the following quote from The Simpsons:

"Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese." -- Mr. Burns

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Knees and Toes

Can someone explain to me why it's ok to kick a ball at 30 mph in a PE soccer class? I mean, I get it - you really want to score - but how am I supposed to save it without gloves. I fucked up three of my fingers today.

I suppose the moral of the story is that I shouldn't play in goal.

-HZ!

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Expensive Trendsetting

It's cool to have a party on the Lower East Side for your birthday. I did it myself and had a great time, and I think pretty much everyone else did too.

It's not cool, however, to have a birthday party on the Lower East Side in a super hip club/hotel thing that charges over $10 for drinks. I mean, I don't mind the practice per se. If people like swankiness that's great...but not for college students. I mean, I went all the way downtown and could only pay for two drinks (one for me, one for my friend for her bday), and I figure - if I'm going to spend so much time on the subway I should be able to actually get drunk for my troubles, or at least afford a couple of drinks. Leave the hip bars to the i-bankers.

-HZ!

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Proselytizing

Perhaps so, but I thought it best to put up these links.

Consider donating, not just due to the flooding, but in consideration that such tragedies happen all the time, and that the damange continues long after the news coverage ends.

www.redcross.org

And the second, because animals were also affected by the floods. I'll grant a personal stake here - I'll always love the Humane Society, as my baby puppy (well, now 16-year old baby puppy) came from there. But here's that link too:

www.hsus.org

Save the puppies. And the whales. And the people. And the cows, apparently.

Loud Chocolate

Things that the Hungarian Pastry Shop is good for:

- Pastries that are good but are off-putting in some weird, undefinable way.
- Making yourself blind from the lack of adequate lighting.
- Seeing weird grad students.
- Studying 19th century Romantic music in preparation for a test to get me out of taking a ridiculous class.

Things that the Hungarian Pastry Shop is not good for:

- Card tricks.
- Loud freshmen
- RA excursions on the second day of orientation.

I was annoyed, especially since I couldn't hear half of the Tchaikovsky Overture, but those grad students looked pissed. However, they weren't angry enough to actually get over their deunionized impotence and say anything. Eventually the frosh left, and we all breathed a sigh of relief. And I went back to Mahler.

-HZ!

Monday, August 29, 2005

Status Post

You'll notice that I've added a couple of new things to the sidebar:

- A Top Five List (FC just finished High Fidelity, so it's apropos). We'll update it periodically, hopefully, which is why it refers to "Indeterminate Period" (I don't trust us to update it daily - though hopefully weekly - given our track record).
- A picture of us, green with either bile or envy, I can't tell which.

Feedback welcome to us.

-HZ!

Like cell phones

Only more irritating.

Who in the fucking hell thought that the walkie-talkie-style cell phones were a good plan?

What bastard decided that people on cell phones weren't annoying enough, that they had to add the unnecessarily loud beeping, and a loud, digitized voice responding to the speaker's loudly phrased questions?

Who, sitting in a research lab, said, "You know who I hate? People! What can I do to annoy them further?"

And where does he live? And does he have any severe food allergies?

Why must technological innovation begin with such annoying goddamn inventions? There is no logical need for these new cell phones - NONE. The only thing gained is slightly louder volume, the ability to hold the cell phone as though you are a secret agent (which, mind you, looks very stupid UNLESS you are a secret agent), and the above-mentioned ability to irritate the fucking hell out of anyone in a 20-foot radius.

YOU DUMB-ASS PEOPLE! Just use your damn cell phones normally!

People are convinced that you want to hear the music on their headphones, their end (and now both ends) of their cell phone conversations, and the soundtrack to their gameboys.

Dumbasses.

Swedish Inflation

Can someone explain to me why the next IKEA bookcase I buy will be one part bookcase and two parts shipping? Damn Swedish monopoly on cheap furniture.

That is all there is to complain about, honestly. The mind reels!

-HZ!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Well-wishing

So, the other writer on this blog demonstrated last night, as per usual, that a) he has good taste in alcoholic beverages and b) that he has a very low tolerance for such beverages.

And that's why we all love him. His obsession with football (the real kind), hair gel (which I can understand), tidiness (which I could imagine myself understanding on a good day), and books (which I do understand), along with the above-mentioned "get drunk quick" approach to life and drinking, all roll up into this fine, strapping lad we call HeyZeus! (at least, on this blog we call him that).

And with that, I hope yesterday was a fabulous birthday for you. Many happy returns. We all love you.

Except for the Christian Right. They probably don't like you much at all...

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Capricity

There is nothing so annoying as getting a grade in a class where everything has been ungraded throughout the term, although comments have been good. I don't know, I hate grade-grubbing (and objectively I didn't deserve a higher grade than what I got), but I find the Creative Writing Dept. to be perverse in its refusal to even deal with the question of grades. I know instructors who never give As and instructors who gives As to everyone. Which is just like every other department, I suppose, but I still find it to be frustrating. I won't complain about my GPA because it's barely changed, and I can certainly get it higher in the fall term, but I'm not a huge fan of the powerlessness of the department. I'm starting to wonder if ever there was a point to even doing the program, but that's alright. I'll just add to the list of the Things I Would Have Done Differently In College (and what a long list that is).

-BW